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The Simplicity of Happiness
Many words have been written by many writers about the commercialism and consumerism of the holiday season. The media teaches all of us, children and adults, that we want — and that we want things.
It’s not just the holidays, of course. Throughout life, there’s a constant focus outside, an ongoing seeking for something you need in order to be happy.
If I get that new job...perfect mate...convertible car. If I go to Tahiti on vacation...live someplace warm...buy a house with a bigger yard. If I had a piece of chocolate cake...a plate of perfect oysters...a peanut-butter sandwich. If I were thinner...in better shape...had curly hair...had straight hair.
Then life would be perfect.
Except — what’s next? The list goes on and on. If you look back at your life, you’ll see. There’s always something else. And there’s always something painful about the wanting.
The fact is, it’s not the things outside you that bring you lasting happiness. I know that’s a cliche, but some cliches are true. Happiness exists inside you. It’s that simple. Simple, but living that simplicity is a commitment that you come back to over and over and over again.
Ready to start? The first step is to stop.
Stop
What is it inside you that you really want — and do you have the courage to look? What is really true for you?
The outer seeking for bigger, better, more things begins with a longing inside. When you’re whirling through the day, through your life, it’s easy to keep reaching for the next thing you think you want. Stop, just for a moment, to find out what’s really happening, what’s really true. Take a moment of stillness in midst of your busy day and just stop.
Listen
Your inner voice is always there, though it can be hard to hear with so much going on around you. If you listen in the stillness, if you’re curious, that voice will speak to you, and it will remind you of what you already know.
It may seem strange to think of this as “remembering,” but you do know that you are whole at your core, that you don’t need anything external to be whole. When you stop and listen to your inner voice, with an open heart and an open mind, you’ll see how much the silence has to tell you.
Explore
Explore what it’s like to be in your body, not just in your mind. Be curious and develop your sense of adventure! Life isn’t just from the neck up, after all.
Your body has a lot to tell you about what you really want. It’s the source of your intuition; it simply feels, instead of thinking its way through life. It will always be honest with you. If you explore how your body feels, you’ll learn what you really want, instead of what you think you should want.
Three steps
These three steps are the beginning of a lifetime’s journey back to your sense of wholeness and joy. Taking them for the first time can be confusing and even scary, especially in the face of everything you hear and see around you — the media, culture, marketing, all those romantic ideas of what you’re “supposed” to have in life.
Like any new endeavor, from riding a bicycle to baking bread, it takes time to get comfortable with the process and to see the results you want. Your ability to stop, listen, and explore will develop subtly and incrementally as you practice. And you’ll occasionally experience the equivalent of falling off your bike or baking a brick instead of a loaf!
Start by taking a moment with a simple question, even as simple as what you want for dinner tonight or whether you truly want to attend yet another holiday party. Stop for a moment — really stop. Listen to your self when you ask the question. And explore your body’s reaction. When you do, you’ll be surprised at how certain and solid the answer feels.
“It was never what I wanted to buy that held my heart’s hope. It was what I wanted to be.” Lois McMaster Bujold, from Memory
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