What people say
I can honestly say that, for the first time in 50 years, I’m learning how to just be. How to relish the present moment, which, magically and mysteriously, unlocks the door to the treasure house that is the rest of my life.
- Jennifer Green, Salem, Oregon
From the moment Jon and I connected, I had this deep experience of loving presence and complete trust. Something bypassed my mind and my ability to figure things out, and communicated directly to my heart and soul that I was safe and in the right place. There was a creation of power in our relationship that he honored and witnessed as being mine. It was my power. I had the experience of being wonderfully, beautifully powerful, in the most loving, energized way.
- Laura Lind-Blum, The Idea Midwife, Waterbury Center, Vermont
Jon can help you recognize where you are, and become more clear. My work with him has not been about plotting out my future, it has been about helping me come into deeper relationship with myself so that next steps unfold easily and effortlessly.
He creates a safe, spacious container for you to go as deep or wide or high as you’re capable of in any given moment. It’s a matter of him being able to see the facets and help me make them real in me.
- Sandra Leader, Carmel, CA
My feelings changed from, “Quick, fix me, I can’t stand how I feel, make it better, hurry,” to, it’s not about hurry, and it’s not about fixing, it’s about staying where you are and getting more and more and deeper and deeper sensations that this is okay. You’re fine, this is okay.
It helps me reframe experience. I don’t see anything that’s happening quite the same as I’ve ever seen it before, because my viewpoint has been enlarged. There’s more, there’s peace, there’s joy, there’s love, there’s health, there’s everything.
- Layne Young, artist, Salem, Oregon
Free Article
Meditation: Why Bother?
One of the first things I ask my clients to do is to create a habit of regular meditation. If they’re already practicing, I ask them to extend the duration of their meditation, or to let go of techniques they may be using and try something that feels more natural.
Very few clients ask me why I make this request. Sometimes I explain anyway, but I suspect that most people instinctively know that meditation is good for them. Just as the body craves water when it’s thirsty, so the spirit craves silence and stillness.
Nonetheless, it’s powerful to know why you’re meditating. And although there are many benefits that have been described in many places — the popular press, medical journals, websites, books — and although those benefits are certainly pleasant and useful side effects that I’m happy my clients will enjoy, that’s not why I recommend it.
The way you experience the world affects how you feel about yourself and your life.
Are you an optimist, or a pessimist? The relative fullness of your life’s glass has gone beyond being a cute way of asking that question to become an annoying cliche. No one really wants to say they’re a half-empty person. Instead, you’re more likely to call yourself a realist, no matter which camp you’re in.
When it comes down to it, though, no matter how you view your place in the world, as long as you’re swept from moment to moment on the currents of your thoughts and feelings, you’re stuck.
You’re stuck, because who you believe you are is entwined with what you think and how you feel. You’re at the mercy of the current, and if it suddenly dives into whitewater, you’re going with it whether you want to or not.
Instead, you can learn to stand on the shore and observe your thoughts and feelings, observe how your body reacts to those thoughts and feelings. From that vantage point, you can see the beauty of the whitewater without getting drowned in it. You can enjoy the slower, more peaceful currents without worrying about where they’re going — or not going. You can watch the crashing waterfall without getting wrapped up in the drama.
Meditation, sitting in silence and stillness, is the opportunity for your consciousness to learn to observe your thoughts and feelings from the shore instead of swimming in the rapids. As you gain confidence in meditation, as you cultivate your observer, you will find it becoming part of your life, allowing you to be increasingly more objective about your experience. You’ll stop getting caught up in the drama.
From the shore, from the place of quiet objective observation, you’ll see things about yourself and about the situations of your life that will surprise, intrigue, and delight you. From this place of quiet, you’ll find intelligence, wisdom, and possibly even awakening.
It starts with meditation. It’s a powerfully effective way to find the silence, to develop the observing consciousness. And that’s why I practice meditation, and have for 35 years, and why I ask my clients to practice.
Here are a few guidelines for you. If you’re already meditating, keep it up! and if these ideas are a little different from your current approach, I invite you to give them a try.
Let Go of Technique
There are a lot of techniques being taught by a lot of people. (I cringe at the ads I see in magazines and online to “Learn Instant Deep Meditation!” There are no end runs in meditation or in life.)
Techniques are like training wheels on a bicycle. They can be useful in the beginning, but in the end if you never let go, you’re limited in where you can ride. If you’re using techniques (for example, following the breath, focusing on a particular area of your body, or chanting a mantra), try letting go of the technique after the first few moments of your meditation. Just let go and see what happens. Meditation is not about doing it “well” or entering some higher, so-called altered state; it’s about being with your experience in the moment.
Resistance is Futile
Instead of expecting a specific experience or result, simply recognize that wherever your experience goes, it’s ok. If your mind wanders, that’s ok. If you fall asleep, obviously your body needed rest more than your spirit needed stillness. If your nose itches, scratch it.
Be curious; don’t resist; just listen. Whatever happens, notice it and leave it alone. Don’t get involved, don’t judge, don’t push away. Allow everything to be exactly as it is, without fighting it or thinking it’s “wrong” or “should” be different. This is the awakening of your observer. Allow your consciousness to notice what’s happening without becoming involved in it. (And if it does get involved — guess what? It’s ok!)
Meditate Longer
Whatever your current meditation time is, see what it would be like if you meditated longer. Unless you’re already meditating for an hour or more, the potential for expanding your ongoing sense of spaciousness and presence will exponentially increase with longer meditations. I know it’s hard to find time to “sit and do nothing,” and I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t know how profoundly it can change your life.
So try to find more time, even if it’s just another five minutes. Take extra time when you can; nothing says your meditation has to be consistent from day to day.
Meditation is a vacation for your heart, spirit, Self. Enjoy it!
“You can observe a lot just by watching.” Yogi Berra, American major league baseball player and coach, 1925 -
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