What people say
I can honestly say that, for the first time in 50 years, I’m learning how to just be. How to relish the present moment, which, magically and mysteriously, unlocks the door to the treasure house that is the rest of my life.
- Jennifer Green, Salem, Oregon
From the moment Jon and I connected, I had this deep experience of loving presence and complete trust. Something bypassed my mind and my ability to figure things out, and communicated directly to my heart and soul that I was safe and in the right place. There was a creation of power in our relationship that he honored and witnessed as being mine. It was my power. I had the experience of being wonderfully, beautifully powerful, in the most loving, energized way.
- Laura Lind-Blum, The Idea Midwife, Waterbury Center, Vermont
Jon can help you recognize where you are, and become more clear. My work with him has not been about plotting out my future, it has been about helping me come into deeper relationship with myself so that next steps unfold easily and effortlessly.
He creates a safe, spacious container for you to go as deep or wide or high as you’re capable of in any given moment. It’s a matter of him being able to see the facets and help me make them real in me.
- Sandra Leader, Carmel, CA
My feelings changed from, “Quick, fix me, I can’t stand how I feel, make it better, hurry,” to, it’s not about hurry, and it’s not about fixing, it’s about staying where you are and getting more and more and deeper and deeper sensations that this is okay. You’re fine, this is okay.
It helps me reframe experience. I don’t see anything that’s happening quite the same as I’ve ever seen it before, because my viewpoint has been enlarged. There’s more, there’s peace, there’s joy, there’s love, there’s health, there’s everything.
- Layne Young, artist, Salem, Oregon
Free Article
Staying Grounded in Turbulent Times
Economic, political, environmental, or personal: when times get tough, whatever the reason, it can be hard to stay grounded, to keep your inner listening tuned to that voice of what’s really true for you. Instead, anxiety, nervousness, and panic sets in as you start wondering what to do and hearing all the external voices of gloom and “what if...?”
We certainly live in interesting times. Environmental, economic, and political events are at play that have no precedent in any past history. Younger generations are asking what they and their children will face in the upcoming decades; their parents and grandparents are looking at shrinking retirement funds with disbelief.
In the midst of it all, staying grounded, staying open to possibilities, and keeping yourself from contracting around fear and doubt can be difficult.
It’s early autumn now, and here in northeastern Illinois where my wife Ellen and I live, the trees are starting to change color. We’ve recently cleared some overgrown brush and deadwood out of our back garden, opening up the view around our pond and the stream. She and I were looking out the window the other day, and realized that we could now see a beautiful gingko tree that had been hidden before. Its heart-shaped leaves are turning the amazing bright golden yellow that gingkos take on in the fall. The beauty of the scene brought tears to Ellen’s eyes.
What has this to do with today’s unsettling times?
As we found in opening up the views of our back yard, perspective is everything. While I’ve said over and over again, in these articles and to my clients and workshop participants, that you can’t change how you feel or what you think, you can explore different perspectives. When you allow yourself to be curious about those perspectives and to be surprised by what you see, then your thoughts and feelings may change — and you may find yourself opening to a more expansive, grounded way of being.
Here are three questions to help you explore different perspectives.
Do I have what I need right now?
Right now, in this moment, chances are that you have everything you need. And right now, in this moment, that’s all you need.
For my clients, this understanding creates a sense of spaciousness and calm. Some of them even report taking an involuntary deep, relaxing breath as they shift to this perspective.
What do I appreciate?
When you’re stuck worrying about circumstances you can’t control, bring yourself back by opening to the people, experiences, and things for which you’re grateful.
Write an appreciation of someone close to you and send it to him or her. Write an appreciation of yourself, and put it where you’ll find it unexpectedly in the next week or two. Write an appreciation of what you’ve experienced, the things that matter to you. You’ll feel your perspective becoming brighter and more spacious.
What’s beautiful?
Just as Ellen was surprised by the unexpected beauty of the gingko tree, so you too can allow yourself to be moved by what’s right in front of you. What have you been overlooking? If you shift your point of view in some way, what do you suddenly notice?
Engage all your senses — sight, certainly, but also touch, smell, hearing, taste. What’s around you, right now in the moment, that’s beautiful to you? It could be the scent of the bacon you had for breakfast, the feel of a warm wool sweater just brought out for cooler weather, the sight and sound of birds in an autumn-touched tree.
Give yourself the gift of a real change in perspective by taking a walk or a bike ride, going somewhere you’ve never been or haven’t visited recently. Look around, smell the scents of autumn, give yourself over to your senses and let your mind take a break.
When you allow yourself to really notice what’s right in front of you, you take yourself out of the dark perspective of your contracted thoughts and expand into the amazing reality of the world we live in.
Remember that you don’t know
Just as none of us saw today’s circumstances coming, so none of us know what’s around the corner for tomorrow.
Whether it’s a personal situation that has you riding the rapids right now, or your concerns about the many issues facing our global community, remember that you don’t know what will happen next. Allow yourself to relax into not-knowing, and you’ll find that action arises from that deeper, spacious sense of what’s really true for you.
“I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may — light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful.” John Constable, 1776-1837, English romantic painter
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