What people say
I can honestly say that, for the first time in 50 years, I’m learning how to just be. How to relish the present moment, which, magically and mysteriously, unlocks the door to the treasure house that is the rest of my life.
- Jennifer Green, Salem, Oregon
From the moment Jon and I connected, I had this deep experience of loving presence and complete trust. Something bypassed my mind and my ability to figure things out, and communicated directly to my heart and soul that I was safe and in the right place. There was a creation of power in our relationship that he honored and witnessed as being mine. It was my power. I had the experience of being wonderfully, beautifully powerful, in the most loving, energized way.
- Laura Lind-Blum, The Idea Midwife, Waterbury Center, Vermont
Jon can help you recognize where you are, and become more clear. My work with him has not been about plotting out my future, it has been about helping me come into deeper relationship with myself so that next steps unfold easily and effortlessly.
He creates a safe, spacious container for you to go as deep or wide or high as you’re capable of in any given moment. It’s a matter of him being able to see the facets and help me make them real in me.
- Sandra Leader, Carmel, CA
My feelings changed from, “Quick, fix me, I can’t stand how I feel, make it better, hurry,” to, it’s not about hurry, and it’s not about fixing, it’s about staying where you are and getting more and more and deeper and deeper sensations that this is okay. You’re fine, this is okay.
It helps me reframe experience. I don’t see anything that’s happening quite the same as I’ve ever seen it before, because my viewpoint has been enlarged. There’s more, there’s peace, there’s joy, there’s love, there’s health, there’s everything.
- Layne Young, artist, Salem, Oregon
Free Article
The Power of STOP
Stop.
Just for a moment, right now, in the middle of reading this (and whatever else you may be doing) — stop.
Take a few deep breaths. Become aware of the quiet, the silence that surrounds any noise you may be hearing.
And become aware of the thoughts and emotions that are passing through you.
How often during your day do you find yourself caught in the rapids of life, reacting to what’s happening around you and to the feelings that arise? When things are moving quickly, or when you’re feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list, it’s easy to spin stories about what’s happening, and to experience strong, sometimes painful emotions around what you believe. Those thoughts and feelings can drag you into a sense of struggle, frustration, and even anger or deep discouragement.
In times of overwhelm, you may — like many of my clients — feel hemmed in, stuck, bombarded by responsibilities that seem more like monsters than tasks to be completed.
At first, you may not believe that there’s any way out of this place of stress and discomfort except to put your head down and plow through. There’s something deeper in you, though, that’s on stable ground even when you feel most battered by circumstances. It’s something my clients and workshop participants discover — or, rather, remember — for themselves, and it’s something you can access as well. And the best way to access it is to ... stop.
When you stop, even if just for a moment, you give yourself breathing room and you allow space for deeper awareness to notice what’s happening. With that noticing comes a shift in perspective that may allow you to relax, even if just a little. Over time, the noticing/perspective shift/relaxation starts happening almost automatically. As one client described to me the other day, it’s like riding a bicycle: the little shifts you make to keep your balance may seem effortful in the beginning, and then one day you realize you’re just doing it all automatically.
Can it really be that simple? Yes. But if you’re like most of my clients, you’d probably like a few additional pointers.
Remember to stop
It sounds great as you’re reading this. And then you’re in the rapids, caught up in the whirlwind — and it isn’t till you look back on what happened that you realize you forgot to stop.
It takes time to develop the habit of stopping. In the meantime, however, you can create reminders for yourself. Send yourself an email that says “Stop.” Put a picture of a stop sign on your computer’s desktop. Include a photo or some other physical reminder (a flower, a small statue, a postcard from an especially relaxing vacation) on your desk where you can see it.
Really STOP
When you’re feeling pressured to get more done faster, and wondering how it can possibly ever all be done, the idea of stopping, even for a moment, may seem impossible.
Don’t give up on it, and don’t give it just lip service. It truly takes only a few moments — not enough time to impact what you’re working on, yet holding such potential to impact how you feel.
So ... stop. Put down whatever you’re working on, turn away from your computer and your telephone, feel the solidity of the chair underneath you and the floor beneath your feet. Close your eyes and take three deep, slow breaths. Feel that breath running all through your body as you exhale — imagine that you’re exhaling through your skin, not just through your mouth or nose. And let yourself open to that deeper awareness inside you.
What’s true?
You’ve created a little space for yourself, a small gap in which you can hear the silence for just a second. From this perspective, ask, “What’s true?”
Is the situation as difficult as it feels, or does deeper awareness have a different view? Is there an approach that creates less stress, less drama, less effort?
One client noticed that she’s been choosing to believe that what she wants is difficult, hard to achieve, a struggle. Holding that belief, she creates pressure to work more — longer hours, more complicated projects — instead of stopping to see what’s really true, what’s really necessary.
When you let go of believing your own thoughts, your perception widens, and options you’d overlooked before suddenly become obvious.
You can relax
Even in the midst of the turbulence, when you stop and allow a moment of space for awareness to question your beliefs, you’ll find yourself relaxing into the moment.
And that’s the true power of stop. When you relax, you open to allowing your next step, your next action, to arise out of a deeper sense of what’s true.
“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” Philip K. Dick, 1928 - 1982, American science-fiction novelist and short-story writer, from How to Build A Universe that Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later
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