What people say
I can honestly say that, for the first time in 50 years, I’m learning how to just be. How to relish the present moment, which, magically and mysteriously, unlocks the door to the treasure house that is the rest of my life.
- Jennifer Green, Salem, Oregon
From the moment Jon and I connected, I had this deep experience of loving presence and complete trust. Something bypassed my mind and my ability to figure things out, and communicated directly to my heart and soul that I was safe and in the right place. There was a creation of power in our relationship that he honored and witnessed as being mine. It was my power. I had the experience of being wonderfully, beautifully powerful, in the most loving, energized way.
- Laura Lind-Blum, The Idea Midwife, Waterbury Center, Vermont
Jon can help you recognize where you are, and become more clear. My work with him has not been about plotting out my future, it has been about helping me come into deeper relationship with myself so that next steps unfold easily and effortlessly.
He creates a safe, spacious container for you to go as deep or wide or high as you’re capable of in any given moment. It’s a matter of him being able to see the facets and help me make them real in me.
- Sandra Leader, Carmel, CA
My feelings changed from, “Quick, fix me, I can’t stand how I feel, make it better, hurry,” to, it’s not about hurry, and it’s not about fixing, it’s about staying where you are and getting more and more and deeper and deeper sensations that this is okay. You’re fine, this is okay.
It helps me reframe experience. I don’t see anything that’s happening quite the same as I’ve ever seen it before, because my viewpoint has been enlarged. There’s more, there’s peace, there’s joy, there’s love, there’s health, there’s everything.
- Layne Young, artist, Salem, Oregon
Free Article
What’s Important?
If there’s anything at all consistent in the world today, it’s change. Everything appears to be in upheaval and disarray, from the environment to the economy to the global political situation. Many of my clients are feeling stressed by financial pressures, and some are struggling with their relationships with family and friends. When everyone’s anxious and wanting support, relationships — and even life itself — can start to seem unbalanced and frustrating.
With that in mind, and with the holiday season upon us and the year coming to a close, I found myself thinking about how we decide what’s important. I don’t mean “important” in the sense that, for instance, family and friends are important, though of course they are. I mean “important” in a much deeper sense, a commitment to something that supports relationships, but isn’t limited to them; a commitment to something that becomes the foundation for everything else in life.
It’s been many years since I first reached my deep understanding that freedom is the most important thing for me. My commitment and intention to be free more than anything else is the basis on which my life unfolds. Now, I’m privileged to see how my clients discover and explore their own commitments. In the process of helping them turn deeper into themselves and hear what’s really true for them, I’ve seen that there are some basic questions that act as signposts along the way.
Where’s your attention?
One of my teachers, Adyashanti, points out that all we have to do is look at our lives to see what it is we value. Our lives are, as he puts it, “a direct reflection” of that focus. It’s not a question of what we think we value, he adds; it’s what we truly value.
One of my clients remains deeply convinced that results require hard work and struggle, despite her intellectual understanding that it’s not true. She’s frustrated and hurt when she sees others achieving what they want, apparently without the same levels of effort she exerts. Although she’d be the first to tell you that she’d love for things to be easy, she can clearly see that her attention remains fixed on hard work and effort and struggle.
Where’s your attention right now? Can you see how your focus has changed over the course of your life — and can you see the different circumstances that have shown up for you as a result?
Do you have what you want?
I’m not talking about Porsches and exotic vacations and palatial houses; this isn’t at all about material things.
No, I’m talking about the things that make life worth spending time on — the things that make life sublime and miraculous. I’m talking about contentment, happiness, peace, joy, and love.
In fact, the longing for material things generally leads to unhappiness, discontent, and struggle — in other words, to anything but joy and freedom.
My hard-work-and-effort client is beginning to experience times — sometimes extended, sometimes brief — of deep relaxation, an inner relaxation that’s more profound than the simple physical moments of relaxation we all experience. In those moments, paradoxically, she’s seen that action naturally arises — and that action flows into results without struggle.
Is your experience what you want it to be? In reading this, are you becoming aware of thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that you may have thought were aligned with what you want, but which now look like they might be holding you back instead?
What do you really want?
When you listen to your heart, to that inner voice of what’s really true for you, you may be surprised at what you hear. It may not bear much resemblance to what you’ve always thought you wanted.
That’s not unusual. What you think is conditioned by beliefs, by society, and by what people around you are saying. Trying to figure it all out leads into dead ends and endless thought loops.
Instead, ask yourself what would allow you to truly open to your heart’s desire. Then really listen, listen deeply, listen on a non-verbal, intuitive level. Allow space for your true heart’s desire to express itself. It might take moments, it might take days or weeks or longer for your answer to come. But when you ask with a sincere desire to know, and when you listen without trying to think your way through it or figure it out, you will hear the answer.
Shifting your attention from what you’ve habitually thought was most important to you to what you now realize is truly what your heart desires is a process of breaking through your conditioned habits. But as my clients discover — including the one I’ve been describing throughout this article — just making the commitment is enough to start experiencing real change.
What’s your true heart’s desire? What’s calling to you?
As the year winds to a close, and as you spend time with family and friends over the holidays, take time also to just be with yourself. Ask yourself these questions, and then listen, quietly and without expectation or judgment. Look back over the year to see where your attention has been, and observe the results.
I’ll be writing more about that in the next issue.
“Our most highly prized commodity is our time. Anything or anyone you give your time to shows immediately what is most important.” Adyashanti, American spiritual teacher and author, from “This Amazing Opportunity”
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