What people say
I can honestly say that, for the first time in 50 years, I’m learning how to just be. How to relish the present moment, which, magically and mysteriously, unlocks the door to the treasure house that is the rest of my life.
- Jennifer Green, Salem, Oregon
From the moment Jon and I connected, I had this deep experience of loving presence and complete trust. Something bypassed my mind and my ability to figure things out, and communicated directly to my heart and soul that I was safe and in the right place. There was a creation of power in our relationship that he honored and witnessed as being mine. It was my power. I had the experience of being wonderfully, beautifully powerful, in the most loving, energized way.
- Laura Lind-Blum, The Idea Midwife, Waterbury Center, Vermont
Jon can help you recognize where you are, and become more clear. My work with him has not been about plotting out my future, it has been about helping me come into deeper relationship with myself so that next steps unfold easily and effortlessly.
He creates a safe, spacious container for you to go as deep or wide or high as you’re capable of in any given moment. It’s a matter of him being able to see the facets and help me make them real in me.
- Sandra Leader, Carmel, CA
My feelings changed from, “Quick, fix me, I can’t stand how I feel, make it better, hurry,” to, it’s not about hurry, and it’s not about fixing, it’s about staying where you are and getting more and more and deeper and deeper sensations that this is okay. You’re fine, this is okay.
It helps me reframe experience. I don’t see anything that’s happening quite the same as I’ve ever seen it before, because my viewpoint has been enlarged. There’s more, there’s peace, there’s joy, there’s love, there’s health, there’s everything.
- Layne Young, artist, Salem, Oregon
Free Article
The Flow of Doing
The pressure to do, to meet goals, and stay productive — it’s powerful. It sometimes feels like a compulsion. One client called it an addiction.
In today’s society, and especially in the current economy, it’s all about output. Your sense of who you are is bound up in this constant push to stay active, stay busy, keep doing.
You’ve been taught that it takes discipline to stay focused. If you don’t have a list, if you don’t complete a certain number of tasks before taking a break, and if you don’t force yourself to finish it all, somehow you’re certain that none of it will ever get done.
But is that really true? I know you may believe it’s true, but is it really true?
In 2004, I retired from teaching high school English after almost 30 years. Those years included classroom teaching, intense hours of reading student papers, and other activities (such as coaching basketball) that drove my work-week well into 60 and 80 hours and more. I truly thought I was permanently exhausted. I was sure that I’d blown a gasket and my internal sense of energy would never recover.
My clients often feel the same. They report a profound exhaustion that rides them even when they’ve slept well and think they “should” be feeling fine.
Over time, just as I did, they begin to recover.
When you move naturally with the flow of energy and inspiration, the rhythm of action arising can be surprising. Without resistance to the deeper inspiration of what’s true for you, you’ll find not only startling productivity, but also real joy — and deep rest.
That’s what happened recently for the client who had felt addicted to her need to do. Realizing that she literally couldn’t go on as she had been, she dedicated a long weekend to just going with the flow. She reported an amazing dance between being busy and productive, and deep relaxation. One flowed naturally into the next, without conscious decision.
Looking back on the weekend, two things stood out for her.
She refused to do anything she didn’t want to do. So she had no plan and no goals. She simply did whatever presented itself as “next.”
And she was astonished by how much she did do — and by how much rest and relaxation she experienced when her doing came from a place of flow instead of effort. This created a completely different experience for her, even in the midst of being surprisingly productive.
Breaking the addiction to productivity that comes from an imposed sense of responsibility and “shoulds” takes time and commitment. Here are a few tips to get you started.
Begin gently
Most of my clients find it easier to start letting go of “shoulds” related to their personal projects and goals, as opposed to professional or work-related activity.
Start at home. Declare a day — or even just a half day — in which you’ll do only what you really, truly want to do, whatever that is.
It’s an experiment
Allow yourself to play with a new approach.
Your internal chorus — the critic, the responsible one, the slavedriver — will find all sorts of reasons why this is a bad idea.
Notice the voices. Notice any fear that may come up. And remind yourself that it’s just an experiment.
What’s really true?
This is a flow, a dance with inspiration. Don’t plan the day; just let each next step reveal itself to you.
When you’re hungry, eat — even if it’s not an official mealtime. When you’re tired, sit down and rest. When something tugs at your attention, respond, and do whatever it is that’s calling you.
Don’t expect logic
You may find yourself doing things in a sequence or in a way that never occurred to you before and appears to have no logic or reason behind it
That’s ok. Allow the flow to move you. Remember that it’s a dance — and your inspiration is leading, not you. Let go of trying to figure it out or trying to plan what’s next.
Conditioning runs deep
It takes time and commitment to recognize how profoundly your sense of what to do and when to do it has been co-opted by feelings of extreme responsibility or external “shoulds.”
And it takes time and commitment to hear that quiet voice of inspiration speaking what’s really true for you.
Making that commitment opens the door to a gradual process of allowing yourself the freedom to dance with inspiration and to experience what it really means to be in flow.
“Just don’t give up on trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don’t think you can go wrong.” Ella Fitzgerald, American jazz singer, 1917-1996
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