What people say
I can honestly say that, for the first time in 50 years, I’m learning how to just be. How to relish the present moment, which, magically and mysteriously, unlocks the door to the treasure house that is the rest of my life.
- Jennifer Green, Salem, Oregon
From the moment Jon and I connected, I had this deep experience of loving presence and complete trust. Something bypassed my mind and my ability to figure things out, and communicated directly to my heart and soul that I was safe and in the right place. There was a creation of power in our relationship that he honored and witnessed as being mine. It was my power. I had the experience of being wonderfully, beautifully powerful, in the most loving, energized way.
- Laura Lind-Blum, The Idea Midwife, Waterbury Center, Vermont
Jon can help you recognize where you are, and become more clear. My work with him has not been about plotting out my future, it has been about helping me come into deeper relationship with myself so that next steps unfold easily and effortlessly.
He creates a safe, spacious container for you to go as deep or wide or high as you’re capable of in any given moment. It’s a matter of him being able to see the facets and help me make them real in me.
- Sandra Leader, Carmel, CA
My feelings changed from, “Quick, fix me, I can’t stand how I feel, make it better, hurry,” to, it’s not about hurry, and it’s not about fixing, it’s about staying where you are and getting more and more and deeper and deeper sensations that this is okay. You’re fine, this is okay.
It helps me reframe experience. I don’t see anything that’s happening quite the same as I’ve ever seen it before, because my viewpoint has been enlarged. There’s more, there’s peace, there’s joy, there’s love, there’s health, there’s everything.
- Layne Young, artist, Salem, Oregon
Free Article
Addicted to Time
Time.
Everyone seems to worry that there’s not enough of it. Not enough time to do all the things on the to-do list, all those things you feel like you have to do, never mind the things you want to do.
During the work week, you squash as much as possible into each moment. On the weekend, you juggle chores and errands and try to fit some relaxation in there somewhere. When I hear people proudly declare that they “work hard AND play hard,” it really seems to mean that they’re hurried, harried, and busy all the time.
In short, as a society we’re addicted to time. And that includes all the negative connotations of addiction: obsessed by it, always tracking it, worried about it, constantly seeking ways to feel that we have more of it, and apparently unable to break free of its demands. Even the everyday language we use is filled with references to time. For instance, in writing this article I kept having to stop and reword my thoughts to remove time-bound words or phrases such as “take a moment,” “schedule,” and “take your time.”
Time is a tool. It’s useful for things like catching airplane flights and getting to appointments. It’s not such a great way to make decisions about needs such as eating, sleeping, relaxing, and even exercising. And it’s certainly not meant to tyrannize you.
Breaking your addiction to time is worth the effort. One way to start is to take a vacation from it. Here are some suggestions for planning — and taking — what one client calls “a day out of time.”
Set the intention
You’ll obviously want to pick a day when you have no appointments or meetings scheduled. This probably means a Saturday, Sunday, or some other non-work day.
Make it an adventure, especially if you share your house with a spouse, partner, and/or kids. Be sure that everyone is committed to participating. It’s difficult to have a true day out of time if anyone in the house is in time.
Prepare
The night before, put clocks face down. Stick PostIt notes over clocks that can’t be turned off or turned aside, such as the ones on microwaves, DVD players, telephones, and programmable thermostats.
Take off your watch.
As you do this, you’re likely to discover that you have more clocks — more constant reminders of time — than you thought. Do you really need all of them? This would be a great opportunity to get rid of a few!
Whatever it is that you’ll do during your day out of time, be sure it doesn’t have time associated with it. For instance, don’t plan to go to a movie. Rent one instead — and be sure you can load it into your DVD player without inadvertently discovering what time it is.
You’ll also be going without television, of course. And since your computer is filled with references to time, you’ll want to shut it down the night before — and leave it off. Depending on how your cell phone functions, you may have to put a PostIt over its face as well — or just turn it off too (unless you feel you need to be in touch for some reason).
Experience the day
Be curious about what will happen. Be ready to be surprised. And be ready to be disoriented!
You’ll find yourself wondering things like ... is it time to get up? I’m hungry — is it lunchtime? Is it too early for a beer? When’s dinner?
Going through the day without the constant reference point of what time is it? will show you the depth of your addiction. It will show you the ways in which you rely on time to dictate what you do — even when there’s no real need for the activity to be time-bound. As I mentioned, eating and sleeping are prime examples of this, but you’ll discover others as well.
If you feel like it, write about your day out of time — either as it unfolds, or as an after-the-fact reflection. Note your feelings, the ways in which you may have experienced confusion, a sense of freedom, or even frustration or fear.
It’s obviously impossible to stop paying attention to time altogether. There are meetings to attend, movies to go to, friends to connect with, flights to catch.
But when you experience a day out of time, you’ll see that it is possible to stop relying on time as much as you do. And it’s especially possible for activities that are better determined by your own experience. It may be somewhat radical in this time-obsessed age, but eating when you’re hungry, sleeping when you’re tired, and moving when you feel the urge — it’s a natural way of listening to what your body really wants.
Releasing yourself from the addiction of time is much less painful than withdrawing from most addictions. And it’s something you can dip into whenever you choose. Just take off your watch, turn away from your clocks, and listen to what you really want — no matter what time it is.
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” Douglas Adams, 1952-2001, English author, dramatist, and musician.
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