What people say
I can honestly say that, for the first time in 50 years, I’m learning how to just be. How to relish the present moment, which, magically and mysteriously, unlocks the door to the treasure house that is the rest of my life.
- Jennifer Green, Salem, Oregon
From the moment Jon and I connected, I had this deep experience of loving presence and complete trust. Something bypassed my mind and my ability to figure things out, and communicated directly to my heart and soul that I was safe and in the right place. There was a creation of power in our relationship that he honored and witnessed as being mine. It was my power. I had the experience of being wonderfully, beautifully powerful, in the most loving, energized way.
- Laura Lind-Blum, The Idea Midwife, Waterbury Center, Vermont
Jon can help you recognize where you are, and become more clear. My work with him has not been about plotting out my future, it has been about helping me come into deeper relationship with myself so that next steps unfold easily and effortlessly.
He creates a safe, spacious container for you to go as deep or wide or high as you’re capable of in any given moment. It’s a matter of him being able to see the facets and help me make them real in me.
- Sandra Leader, Carmel, CA
My feelings changed from, “Quick, fix me, I can’t stand how I feel, make it better, hurry,” to, it’s not about hurry, and it’s not about fixing, it’s about staying where you are and getting more and more and deeper and deeper sensations that this is okay. You’re fine, this is okay.
It helps me reframe experience. I don’t see anything that’s happening quite the same as I’ve ever seen it before, because my viewpoint has been enlarged. There’s more, there’s peace, there’s joy, there’s love, there’s health, there’s everything.
- Layne Young, artist, Salem, Oregon
Taking Time for Stillness
December 28 2010
The temperature where I live in northeastern Illinois has been hovering in the teens and even single digits. It’s warmed up a little now, which means we’ll probably get more snow soon.
In southwestern California, where my business partner lives, there have been six straight days of a winter storm — high winds, rain, flooding, and even a tornado.
Here in the northern hemisphere, it’s a time of quiet, the dark turn of the year — what one writer calls “the midnight of the year.” It’s a time when we naturally turn to stillness, rest, and reflection.
And it’s also a season of parties, celebration, and an often frantic sense of busyness.
Many people, even as they rush to attend one more party or get just a little more accomplished before the end of the year, feel as if it’s become a bit too much. In talking with my clients, colleagues, and friends, I hear over and over again how they yearn for real peace in this season when everyone is wishing for peace, and for spaciousness and joy in this time that’s supposed to be a celebration of joy.
In that spirit, I invite you to take time for stillness even as you’re in the midst of being busy with celebrations, work, and other endeavors.
It won’t disrupt your schedule, and it doesn’t need special skills or an established meditative practice.
All it takes is a little bit of intention and attention.
Notice the breath
There’s a lot of adrenaline involved in being busy and being in a hurry. And adrenaline tends to make your breath fast and shallow.
Take a moment, even when you’re busy — in your car, standing in line at the supermarket, getting ready for work or for a party, whatever you might be doing — and notice your breath. Feel how it moves through your body. Feel how it enters and exits through your nostrils, and how it feels in your throat and lungs. Observe that you can sense its movement throughout your entire body and being.
Notice that as you pay attention to the breath, it naturally eases and deepens. As one client said, “It seems miraculous. I don’t have to try to do anything — in fact, if I try to change my breathing pattern, I end up breathless and struggling. But when I just notice, it automatically settles down, slows down.”
Grounded and rooted
As you continue to follow your breath, notice how it grounds you as you breathe in, and lifts you as you breathe out.
Allow your breath to root you into your self and your surroundings — even as you may be rushing to get somewhere or in the midst of a conversation with friends or co-workers.
As you give your attention to your breath and to that sense of rootedness, you’ll naturally become more still inside, no matter what may be going on outside.
Allow yourself to notice whatever stillness you experience. Even if it’s just the smallest glimmer, welcome it as a gift you’ve given to yourself.
One client said, “When I remember to breathe in this way, I’m less reactive. So even when I’m tired or frustrated, I’m in touch with myself, and I’m in touch with that deep feeling of stillness. And so I’m a lot nicer to people. It’s a good thing for everyone!”
Giving attention
What you pay attention to tends to become your experience — and your experience will tend to grow in direct proportion to your attention.
So if you give your attention to the anxiety of being in a hurry and feeling as if there’s too much to do or too much going on — that’s what you’ll be aware of, and it will expand to fill your experience.
By bringing these breathing practices into your day, you give your attention to the easing of your breath, the grounding of your experience, and the glimmers of stillness that arise within you.
The more you attend to them, the more stillness, ease, and groundedness will be present for you — even in the midst of hurry, busyness, and stress.
Remembering
Remembering to pause, breathe, and notice is a simple thing to do.
Yet as one of my favorite teachers says, paying consistent attention to the simple things in life is one of the hardest — and most effective — things for anyone to do.
And as a client told me, “Even though it’s such an easy thing, I keep forgetting. But because it feels good to let my breath slow me down and create this sense of stillness, I’m finding ways to remember — ways to create a new habit.”
I can’t think of a better habit to cultivate for the New Year!
“The unconscious self is the real genius. Your breathing goes wrong the moment your conscious self meddles with it.” George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950, Irish playwrite and co-founder of the London School of Economics. From Man and Superman, 1903
If you liked this article, you can
sign up to receive my regular newsletter.