What people say
I can honestly say that, for the first time in 50 years, I’m learning how to just be. How to relish the present moment, which, magically and mysteriously, unlocks the door to the treasure house that is the rest of my life.
- Jennifer Green, Salem, Oregon
From the moment Jon and I connected, I had this deep experience of loving presence and complete trust. Something bypassed my mind and my ability to figure things out, and communicated directly to my heart and soul that I was safe and in the right place. There was a creation of power in our relationship that he honored and witnessed as being mine. It was my power. I had the experience of being wonderfully, beautifully powerful, in the most loving, energized way.
- Laura Lind-Blum, The Idea Midwife, Waterbury Center, Vermont
Jon can help you recognize where you are, and become more clear. My work with him has not been about plotting out my future, it has been about helping me come into deeper relationship with myself so that next steps unfold easily and effortlessly.
He creates a safe, spacious container for you to go as deep or wide or high as you’re capable of in any given moment. It’s a matter of him being able to see the facets and help me make them real in me.
- Sandra Leader, Carmel, CA
My feelings changed from, “Quick, fix me, I can’t stand how I feel, make it better, hurry,” to, it’s not about hurry, and it’s not about fixing, it’s about staying where you are and getting more and more and deeper and deeper sensations that this is okay. You’re fine, this is okay.
It helps me reframe experience. I don’t see anything that’s happening quite the same as I’ve ever seen it before, because my viewpoint has been enlarged. There’s more, there’s peace, there’s joy, there’s love, there’s health, there’s everything.
- Layne Young, artist, Salem, Oregon
Let Life Touch You
July 26 2011
In a session the other day, a client said to me, “It’s ridiculous. I’m crying about everything — I even got tearful at Whole Foods when I saw they have paper bags in the produce section instead of plastic!”
She’s been gradually opening to her heart and to her feelings, and it’s been a powerful process for her. In this instance, she was responding deeply to her feelings of appreciation when others — people as well as companies — do something she believes in.
I asked her ... why is this ridiculous? Why not let yourself be moved by something that feels profoundly right to you?
It may seem weird to be moved to tears over paper versus plastic bags — but if that’s something that matters to her, is it truly weird, or is it simply an expression of who she is?
When we resist these impulses to be moved — when we resist our heart’s opening, with all the poignance and energy that comes with it — we close down. We close ourselves to what’s most beautiful and most powerful in our experience.
We close ourselves off from life.
Let life touch you, however it touches you. The experience is different for everyone. Not everyone will be moved by a store’s choice to be environmentally responsible. And not everyone will be moved in the same ways.
So if letting life touch you means laughter, then laugh. If it means tears, then cry. And if it means opening to quiet joy or poignant sorrow ... then open.
Here are some perspectives for you to explore in letting life touch you — deeply, fully, and completely.
Where does self-judgment come from?
My client called her emotional reaction “ridiculous.” But as I said, what’s “ridiculous” about allowing yourself to be touched by something meaningful to you?
Self-judgment begins as you witness how other people react to what you do and say.
When you experience ridicule or scorn from important people in your life — parents, teachers, or peers — you start to judge yourself based on their reactions.
Then you start developing habits of suppressing your natural responses in order to avoid their ridicule — and to avoid the self-judgment that’s developing within you.
As you notice self-judgment now, notice also that these are voices from your past experience. Ask yourself if the judgment is really true and valid for today’s situation.
What would it be like to honor your experience and your feelings instead of judging them?
From numb ... to feeling
It begins with hiding the outward expression of your feelings. Over time, you end up suppressing the feeling itself. The feeling is still there, but you’re no longer in touch with it; you’ve gone numb.
As your heart opens, the feelings return. Just as when a hand or foot has gone to sleep and begins to come back to life, it can seem prickly and even painful as you begin re-awakening to the full range of your experience.
Yet — as a client said to me — “It’s hard, sometimes, but it’s also wonderful to fully experience something that’s beautiful or meaningful, or even painful. It’s much richer and more real than when I try to suppress or avoid how I feel.”
What would it be like to feel the full sensation of how life touches you — instead of with the experiential equivalent of numb, “asleep” fingertips?
Is it scary?
Opening to the fullest expression of life within you and around you can feel scary sometimes.
After all, you closed down, suppressing your experience, for a reason. It seemed valid and even necessary at the time.
But is it truly scary now? Or is that feeling of fear a holdover from long-gone events?
A client wrote, “I’ve spent so long trying to avoid the fear. But now that I’m looking at it instead of running away from it, I realize that it’s not fear of what’s happening right here, right now — it’s an echo coming out of my past. That makes it possible for me to meet the fear without being overwhelmed by it ... and then to experience what’s happening now from a more open, heartfelt place. And that changes everything.”
Yes.
Letting life touch you, fully and completely, without resisting what’s happening or what comes up for you, does indeed change everything!
“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.’ Benjamin Disraeli, 1804-1881, First Earl of Baconsfield, British Prime Minister, statesman, and novelist.
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